India, Australia and the prisoner called Dr. Mohd. Haneef

I am not a bigot. I say this at the outset because I may sound like one. But I am not certain I believe the shit coming out of Dr. Mohd Haneef’s mouth. But as far as the law is concerned, he is innocent.

The case, as I understand it, is pretty simple. His cousins were directly involved in the plot that failed to kill many people in Glasgow. He lent his sim-card to them when he left for Australia. Somehow, in all their brotherhood, he did not know (even remotely) that they were up to lowly terrorist activities. Being a terrorist is bad. Being a terrorist who has decided to get into a suicide mission is worse. But a suicide mission going wrong is plain stupid. I don’t know what’s worse than living a life that Sabeel or Kafeel have ahead of them.

Anyway, that’s not the point.

Let’s give Haneef the benefit of doubt that he actually did not know what his useless cousins were up to. I’ve owned a cell phone since 2001. I have never lent my sim-card to anyone. Cousins, brother, sister, uncle, aunty, peon, cabbie, boss, maid, dhobi, istri dude or terrorist… no one. Anyway – let’s give this idiot the benefit of doubt.

He booked a one way ticket to India. This aroused suspicions with Aussie cops. His stupid wife tells the media that he did that because he wanted to travel back with her and his I-wannabe-a-madrasa educated-marry a wannabe suicide bomber-progeny. Every dumb traveler knows that a return ticket is cheaper than a one way ticket. He could have booked a return ticket – and later booked a flight for his wife on the same date from India. His excuse is stupid. I still think he is innocent though…Of crime. But for stupidity and claiming ignorance (lying) of his cousin’s activities – he is guilty as hell.

And then enters the tamasha that is News in India. From a terror suspect who brought India to the headlines with his stupidity – he became a national hero. Every news channel in India was covering his arrival like it was Mahatma Gandhi’s return from the dead. Atleast whoever is the beneficiary of Rajdeep Sardesai’s carnal offerings must have had a great time – because watching all the coverage of Haneef, his wife and that ugly-repulsive IBN reporter camped outside the Haneef’s apology-of-a-house, asking his wife the dumbest of questions (are you glad that he is returning? Will you go to the airport to greet him? Will his mother go to the airport? I smell nice aroma… is there something special being prepared for that loser-sorry-ass-husband of yours?). Rajdeep’s hard-on was exploding by then – I’m cock sure.

The CM of Karnataka offered this bum a job at a government hospital. Haneef politely refused. What do you think he wanted to do? Join St. John’s? Al-Ameen?

The deed that forced me to write this masterpiece – Haneef wants Australia to apologize to India – and he wants his visa reinstated so that he can travel back to Australia and work there.

He is not just stupid. He is shameless. He also has no self-respect.

What would you do if you were Dr. Mohd Haneef?

Would you visit his clinic if he was your new friendly-neighbourhood medic-man?