Here you go...

My ardent fans can’t stop reminding me that I haven’t had a decent entry in the blog in a month now… fuckers don’t realize that relocating isn’t fun. And relocating to Mumbai is certainly not what I expected it to be. So, if you want to know what I’ve been up to (or put through) in the past month – read on.

Its been a little over a month since we left Singapore for Mumbai. I used the 4 and a half odd hours in the flight to un-Singapore myself and actually psyche myself into battle mode. Battle with rickshaw-wala, battle with police-wala, battle with taxi-wala, battle with Govinda bakth-wala, Battle with Ganpati Bakth-wala)… Its not actually an easy transfer when you move from a city as tiny and organized as Singapore to Mumbai. Everything suddenly becomes a cause for concern and the slightest progress in matters actually appears to be God’s blessing. But it was our choice to head back ‘home’ – so no point complaining.

Another mantra I kept chanting along with ‘Forget Singapore’ was ‘Don’t Compare’. The latter I am still chanting.

At the Chatrapathi (or however you spell that cock-sucking chutiya name) International airport – everything was a pain - from finding a piss-place to one’s fucking luggage.

We took 2 pre-paid taxis (in the worst possible condition) to Puneet’s place. 5 minutes into the drive, it started pouring. The fucking monsoons – as it appears was still on. Ahem… is still on.

From day 1, we were on a mission to find an apartment to rent, and in Renu’s case getting her paper-work organized at her new employer’s (formerly her former employer).The rickshaw journeys from Andheri to Chembur were the worst on-road experience one can ask for in this city. A fucking mess. Takes an hour and a half, and don’t forget to add the bloody soot and rain water.

Forget Singapore

Don’t compare.

Think of Woon. Fuck-face Woon Chuk Chan. Somebody register that fat bastard in amoeba.com.

After a few days of constantly doing this, we started to think whether we should look at the western suburbs (like Bandra) where we used to live earlier. But for the kind of money we had in mind (which was quite a bit - I insist), we saw such crappy places. Totally un-live-able shit.

All this travel and stress was eased when we started meeting up old friends like Sheik, and Razy… the stock market can hit 17000, India can finally win something remarkable in cricket, and all this cock-talk about the Indian economy single-handedly offsetting the fucking American recession can happen – but Shiek will remain the same. Super Chilled.

After some drama with the owner of an apartment at Safal Towers, a sick good-for nothing Punjabi born-and-raised in fucking Ulhasnagar, we moved into 1301, Kshitij Building.

Tomorrow, we complete a month in this house. Remarkable considering that it is fucking empty. After Begging for 3 weeks for internet, we are finally online with Hathway. Obviously, we tried MTNL because they offered the best speeds as better price. But they have a waiting list of 6 months in Mumbai. The Indian economy is rocking – someone said. Tata Indicom, assholes of the highest order, didn’t even bother to return my calls. 15 calls!! Is an efficient monopoly better than the useless system we have in India??

Another pastime of mine in the past month - Begging the relocations people to get my stuff out of the docks. I have word that come Wednesday, and we can expect our stuff from Singapore to be finally delivered. Finally some TV. Finally some music on my Jamo!!

Renu takes 40 minutes to get to work in the morning. Amazing achievement in Mumbai. Her return journey is about 100 minutes though… fucking nightmare if you are in a cab. A car has to be bought soon. We have set our momentary interest on the Fiat Palio Stile.

Oh … and finally, I got Malaria. Scourge of the Third World – I never experienced bodily pain as inflicted by the plasmodium falciparum bug. Good news is that I am recovering well… albeit I tire soon now.

I still miss the few friends I have back in Singapore… miss the late night movies at Cathay, Fried Kway Tiaow, Spizza Pizza, HMV, 100 Plus, …

Satisfied?… making a sick man type so much. Fuck you all.