NO LINE ON THE HORIZON

I am a huge fan of U2. I have concert ticket stubs to prove it. And thats a big deal because the closest they have performed to my country is Japan and Australia.

So I hear that their new album was 'leaked' to the internet. A) Clever case of marketing as hard-core U2 fans would buy their albums anyway. B) Clever thing to do because the album SUCKS big time.

My dad downloaded the album and I asked him to mail it to me. I would buy the album anyway... and being a fan, I couldn't wait.

Now, I have never believed that these guys were great song writers - awesome melody makers yes... and probably among the best LIVE acts ever. I mean, who gets the timing of MLK's assassination wrong in a song about MLK?

The new album is full of experiments - unlike 'All that you can leave behind' and 'How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb' which were great rock albums... that grabbed your throat as you push the 'play' button.

I couldn't register a single song on NLOTH. By song 3, I dozed off and the cacophony of song 11 just woke me up. Thankfully my driver was pulling up the curb... and it was actually time to wake up.

David Fricke... fuck you. 5 stars up your ass, bitch.

A definite let down for fans like me... I can't imagine how the band will use the new material in their new gigs - because thats all they are good at really.

Coldplay will be happy - something more to copy from!!

NLOTH is one album I will wait to buy when it hits the discount shelf - like that sordid POP.

More Spirits in the Night

Its been 5 days after the attacks happened in Mumbai... and I have a cocktail of feelings - anger, betrayal, insulted, cheated, lied to, and disgusted. For the first time, the affluent people were targeted and the main location chosen (The Taj Mahal Hotel) is a structure we are so proud of.

As always, 2 things are going to happen: our citizens will blame the politicians for the disaster (which they started immediately), and in a few days time, the 'Spirit of Mumbai' will take over and normalcy will return.

I hate the phrase 'Spirit of Mumbai'. Whoever coined that phrase - Bachi Karkaria or whoever - needs to be dragged out of their plush South Mumbai homes and made to live in one of the filthy suburbs... and made to travel for 90 minutes to work and be stuck in traffic during the monsoons for 3 hrs. Only then that idiot will know that the Spirit of Mumbai and its 'Anything goes' attitude sucks and is the sole reason why our roads are the worst, our overall machinery sucks and our security is periodically violated upon.

The politicians deserve a lot of flack. But they deserve as much flack as the people who voted them in. The idea of a democracy is to get you leaders to stand up and be accounted for. As citizens, if we don't demand, leaders will not provide. The leaders had information (intelligence) that there were terror attacks bound to happen. They slept on it. Our borders are so porous that anybody can smuggle in weapons and RDX at will. Despite paying so much tax, there is nothing to be seen in terms of homeland security.

A few weeks ago, I went to the Trident at 10pm to get an interview done with the lead actress of our film. At the main entrance, we were stopped by the guard who asked us the take the rear entrance as we had lots of equipment in boxes (camera, lights, teleprompter). We took the rear entrance, and no one checked us. We could have easily walked in with whatever and done anything we wanted. So much for security. In such cases, how do you blame the police or the politicians? The folks at the Trident Oberoi say that security and hospitality don't go hand-in-hand. Wow!!

Now for the actual attacks and the real culprit. The Leopold attack was equivalent to a gang-bang session. Something not many cities can avoid. The Taj though is a different matter. Look at the link here.

The guys had information about a terror issue and had upped their security by a bit. They also decided to have security only at the main entrance because in the code of terrorism, the terrorists will enter only from the main door. I was aghast when i read this. The management of the 2 hotels are 100% responsible for the safety of their guests and patrons - there is no excuse there. These guys fucked up at their job. Period.

The journalists are another lot who need to be slapped. And the leader of them all is that silly ass Barkha Dutt. There is no point getting all emotional about the event. Just go ahead and do some reporting without getting all excited and self-righteous. The sight of her trying to get a shot of the carnage at the Taj after the attacks were over was revolting. That is our problem - discipline. All of us lack it. We hate to be frisked at check-points because it violates our human rights... and we are a democratic country after all. In disciplined countries, that site would have been cordoned off as it was a location under investigation. Anything done by Barkha Dutt or her asinine associates could actually tamper with evidence. But no - they all had to try their best to get in and get so dramatic about it... 'oh just a few hours ago, a couple may have been here sipping on some tea. Now look at this place - all that remains in broken china'. It makes me sick.

Last night, the stupid pig conducted another episode of 'We The People'. Her panel included prominent citizens of Mumbai - Bachi Karkaria (fake retard living in a make-believe world), Ratna Pathak (why on the panel - I don't know), Ness Wadia (yea right, Surname syndrome), Luke Kenny (what the fuck. Really - what the fuck), Kunal Kohli (give me a break), Simi Garewal (the height of stupidity) MN Singh (I bet he was thinking - what the hell am I doing here). It was excruciating to watch Barkha conduct the session. She was behaving like a grandma-matron.

And finally, the disaster tour conducted by Vilasrao Deshmukh (the Chief Minister - or Chief Idiot of Maharashtra). He actually took his son (whatever actor Rietiesh Deshmukh) and the god of pathetic film-making - Ram Gopal Varma along with him. What were these two jokers doing there? How were they allowed in? And why were they at such a crime scene while the investigation was not complete? I felt insulted when I watched it on TV - and am sure most of India did too.

Atleast RR Patil is out of the way - now will someone please tell Deshmukh that its time to get out of power and reap the benefits of all the bribes he took for the past few years - and leave us in peace? And lets us get responsible. Its high time we stopped taking shit in the name of 'spirit' and its about time we got some discipline in our own lives.

Forcing A Hand

Today, I am forced to write something.

I am a huge admirer of Barack Obama. I have not written a lot about that before... but have mage a few references to him in the past... like here. What happened today was greater than every achievement of America and every contribution she made to popular culture. I saw America through the words and music of Bruce Springsteen... and Obama has the same vibe about him.

A momentous day in our lives... if you are like me. Someone who thinks America is not a country but an Idea. That idea got a bit bruised along the way - especially the past 7 years... but boy what a resounding response this has been. To think that 40 years ago, blacks could not sit in the same buses as whites... and had their every civil right violated upon.

Truly a great day.

And only in America.

I really don't have much time to blog these days... as work gets me most of the time.... and my desire to spend as much time with my little boy takes the rest.

To all who used to keep track... our darling Kabir was born on Sep 18 at Breach Candy Hospital. At 3.3 Kgs, he was as healthy as could be. On Oct 23, he started to smile too.

I want the world to know that I am grateful to the powers above for blessing us with him, and blessing him with a mother like Renu. I love you both.

And the Gold goes to...

I wish I could write more. The reality is that I don't have enough time. I'm too busy during office hours to fool around online or blogging, I'm too tired when I get back home... and I prefer to spend time with my wife. I can't write when I'm in my car because I am a borderline case of motion sickness... anything apart from sitting or sleeping in a car can cause migraine. I can't blog at night (midnight) because I need to sleep enough to concentrate at work the next day... yeah... not everyone sleep walks through work-life.

So, the thoughts that are on my mind. The Olympics - this year, it was all about Phelps. There is nothing I am going to write about that Aquaman that you can't find on the net. India won its first individual gold in an event I don't personally consider a sport. Unless every sniper in the Kashmir valley is a sportsman. I was so hoping that our boxers would come good. There is still hope... the papers say.

In cricket, we got washed away by the Lankans in the test series. And the 1st ODI. And man, was it fun to watch (the highlights in the news). We have a habit of making stars overnight... Shoaib Akhtar, Sananth Jayasuriya, Lance Klusener, Ajanta Mendis... they were all average players till they played India. Add them to the list of stars we have contributed to cricket, including Sachin and Saurav.

Work-wise, our first teaser promo is out. Its quite snappy and well cut... and from the reactions so far, it looks like we will have a decent opening on Nov 14th. What needs to be seen is if we can get that second week audience in... and that is what I am currently working on. Most of the big movies slated for a late '08 release have been pushed to 1st Q '09. So, that gives us more breathing space.



Across the border, Mush is gone. Although, it was the only way to be... I am still not sure if it solves the problems there... or even eases the unrest. And for us, not having a Mush there is not great news.

I picked up some good music at the recent Sale by Sony BMG... now I need to find time to listen to the stuff. Pick of the lot was Black & White Night, a live album by Roy Orbison. With background work by Bonnie Rait, Bruce Springsteen, KD Lang, Tom Waits and Elvis Costello, you can take the liberty of calling this a true masterpiece.

I also got Elizabethtown at the sale. No one (seriously, no one) puts together a soundtrack album like Cameron Crowe. Tom Petty, Ryan Adams, a mesmerizing version of Moon River by Patty Griffin, obviously Nancy Wilson and the great Lindsey Buckingham with a rousing acoustic version of Big Love. Other albums i got include Hysteria (an ode to my college days... how I bugged Kiran every morning with that song and Armageddon It), Brokeback Mountain (Soundtrack), The Greatest Hits of James Brown, Songs from the Labyrinth (Sting), John Mayall and the Blues Breakers, Sounds of India -Tana Mana and Passages (Ravi Shankar), Duets (Tony Bennett) and a couple that I already have and highly recommend... as gifts to our brothers.

One DVD I am looking forward to is U2's first concert video... Live At The Red Rocks. The track listing:LIVE AT RED ROCKS
Out Of Control / Twilight / An Cat Dubh/Into The Heart / Surrender / Two Hearts Beat As One / Seconds / Sunday Bloody Sunday / Cry/The Electric Co.
/ October / New Year’s Day / I Threw A Brick Through A Window / A Day Without Me / Gloria / Party Girl / 11 O’Clock Tick Tock / I Will Follow / “40”

I'm listening to...

Stories 2: 301 Lokumal

Memories usually don't come in any particular oder... something this morning reminded me of my PG days... the days before I met Renu.

I was asked to leave Steven's house (my accommodation) at Santa Cruz in May 2000. I don'tknow if I was relieved or scared. The house had its issues. I was paying a lot for sleeping on someone's apology of a Deewan in their living room... their mutt peeing over my chappals every morning, living off a suitcase (no cupboards offered), woken up in weekends by Steven's lousy kids pulling my hair and slapping me... having to do my laundry at 5am on Saturday and Sunday so that I would use running water and not stored water...

I would miss Bhatti, my PG-mate, who occupied the balcony (with the blue tarp to prevent the rain and sun and dust). But really, I was fed up with that existence. And one night, I came back blown out of my head... and fell when the door opened to the brotherly arms of Bhatti.

I remember Steven's wife saying,' Yeh kya ho gaya. Daru piya hai yeh.' And Bhatti replying,' No Ma'am, I think he's just tired'.

The next morning, I had to leave. With a suitcase and a few plastic bags...I made my way to the broker. He took me straight to Lokumal building in Mahim. It fitted within my budget... 2500 a month and 5K deposit. I was shown the house by the broker and a young guy (probably my age then... turned out to be the landlord's son). I would have to share a room with another guy... who looked pretty harmless sleeping on his back covering his face with a special edition of Playboy. The apartment was on the third floor... and our window had a decent view of the area.

The bed next to window was vacant... I left my bags on it and proceeded to check the rest of the house out. The living room was fairly large for Bombay standards, there was a small kitchen, another bedroom (for the landlord and his wife) and bathroom-toilet. I would share the loo and bath with these guys.

The door opened and the landlady walked in, holding a Pomeranian in her arms. The guy leapt out when he saw me and headed to attack me, teeth and all. It was pretty much a scene out of the Wild West, but in this case it was not about who drew the pistol faster. I made it to my room just in time to slam the door on the mutt's face. Phew. I hate Poms.

The commotion woke up Sheik Abdul Tayeb... 6ft, skinny guy with long wiry hair, sharp features and a dead-pan delivery that would make Bill Murray happy. Sheik sat there and grinned... pulled out a semi-smoked joint, offered it to me. I declined. He lit it, took a long drag and said, 'Lock your stuff up. If you lose anything, don't come to me'.

I was like... what the fuck is this guy's problem?

That night, I was woken up by the rain... the dream was amazing though. I rushed to shut the large windows and sat on my bed, drenched and psyched. I saw Sheik's toothy grin in the darkness. ' Its the Mango Rains'... and he went back to sleep. You can imagine what I was thinking.

A while later, the landlord walked into the room to introduce himself. In sign language. He couldn't hear or speak. Sheik later told me that the expression on my face said 'Don't fuck with me man/ God why do you do this to people/ hey we can have fun with this guy'. His wife followed him, and it appeared that 4 decades of marriage (and beating) was making her deaf and dumb as well. I was told the rules by her... in whatever muffled speech she could manage. 'No Girls, No Drugs'. I could live with that. The first I couldn't afford to keep happy and the second I was (and still am) totally against.

Mr. Gulu Thadani (the landlord) used to be a sales guy with Bush TV. He lost his voice talking crap like most sales guys do. He was a die-hard WWE fan... being deaf, he would put the volume at max, lay on the floor to feel the vibrations of each punch and fall... and cheer loudly when all the drama happened on TV. The first time I saw this play out... I thought he was lying on the floor banging his hands on the tiles because he was having a stroke or something. Gulu as it appears was a colorful man. He had an illegitimate kid (now a Bombay hustler). Jr. Thadani had a new job every week. From running a modeling agency to film casting, poultry farm to hosiery store... mostly he was a pimp. He did not live with his Dad. He used to drop by to collect hand-outs... and sometimes in the heat of the night to screw one of the unmentionables along with 3 of his friends.

Gulu's other son (the guy who showed me the house) was an animation chap at UTV toons. He also had a daughter, who was married to a total weirdo and had a new born. They lived separately... and off the old man as well.

They all had this one pom... who wore a bib while eating and had to be spoon-fed every meal. A year into 301 Lokumal, I would almost kill that animal. In a bizarre incident, I was once returning from office when this pom attacked me in the living room. Too tired to run and too fed up of being scared, I waited for the Pom. As he approached me (running), I sent a superbly-timed kick his way. The rest, as they say... was in slow-motion. I saw the dog twist in pain and elevate slowly, steadily in a trajectory that indicated that it would fly out the window. I saw the dog move slowly towards the window and suddenly in real-time when it scampered for dear life by the windowsill. It made it. And that was the last time it came anywhere near me.

Sheik was a photographer and was assisting Dilip Bhatia... a successful chap who did a lot of good advertising work. I told Sheik that I would make a few changes to the room in a couple of months... thats when i would go home and bring my speakers to Bombay.

As the days went by, I got along well with Sheik. A perfect roomie, if there ever was. We had great chemistry. Unspoken agreements and changes were made to accommodate each other.

Once I managed to get my speakers to Bombay, I took a trip to Lamington Road to hunt for a small amplifier. I got one that matched the speaker's power and from that day on, we rocked the place out. A portable CD player did the job for us. Saturday nights were synonymous with house parties. People would walk in...most of whom we didn't know because word spread that if you wanted free Old Monk, Salami Sandwiches, Nepali weed and loud Rock Music... 301 Lokumal is the place to be.

From having people passing out drunk on the floor, to getting super high on Weed seeds and attempting suicide... we had it all. We used to see our guests off as well.. and one night, a gush of wind pushed the door behind us shut and we were locked till 7am. No point ringing the bell with a deaf landlord, you see. We got away with our misdeeds on Saturday nights with 2 super large drinks for Gulu. He'd pass out by the time we finished our 10th song for the night.

One night, he walked into the room while we were playing a guitar heavy song. He saw everyone air-guitaring, bobbing up and down... and had that funny perplexed look on his face. He leaned on the cupboard and felt the vibration of the base guitar on it... and was so shocked that he fell down. He was upset alright... but nothing an Old Monk can't fix.

I left that life when I met Renu Nair.

Can't Rock On to this Shit!!

I borrowed KJo's copy of Rock On!! (the soundtrack album of the new Excel production that was released by Big Music).

I really haven't heard such trashy stuff in a long time. It makes Mission Istanbul's soundtrack sound better. Why attempt rock when all you can really do is make love-ballads and dance music? Farhan Akhtar sounds like a little adolescent in any case... and when he tries to pull of the range of rock vocalist, it just misses the point completely.

The lyrics are by the great Javed Akhtar... and it has no place belonging to his body of work. Sir, please check what Anwar Maqsood does (across the border) when he writes for his son's band. Rock music can have intelligent lyrics...even in Hindi/Urdu.

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy giving us this trash (in the guise of rock), hoping for some 'KK-Pal' type revelation... sucks. Such trash... the only 2 songs worth listening to a couple of times are by the girls - Ye Tumhari Meri Baatein (Dominique Cerejo) and Phir Dekhiye (Caralisa Monteiro).

Everybody I know wanted to be a rock star at some point in their life. Everybody wanted an 'Almost Famous' moment in their life. Watching four guys like Luke, Farhan, Purab and Arjun Rampal live their adolescent dreams on screen is bad enough. The big question... Would Farhan and Ritesh have made this film if they had to spend their own money and not that of Big Pictures'??

This may be too 'damn opinionated'... but atleast I have a fucking opinion.