India, Australia and the prisoner called Dr. Mohd. Haneef

I am not a bigot. I say this at the outset because I may sound like one. But I am not certain I believe the shit coming out of Dr. Mohd Haneef’s mouth. But as far as the law is concerned, he is innocent.

The case, as I understand it, is pretty simple. His cousins were directly involved in the plot that failed to kill many people in Glasgow. He lent his sim-card to them when he left for Australia. Somehow, in all their brotherhood, he did not know (even remotely) that they were up to lowly terrorist activities. Being a terrorist is bad. Being a terrorist who has decided to get into a suicide mission is worse. But a suicide mission going wrong is plain stupid. I don’t know what’s worse than living a life that Sabeel or Kafeel have ahead of them.

Anyway, that’s not the point.

Let’s give Haneef the benefit of doubt that he actually did not know what his useless cousins were up to. I’ve owned a cell phone since 2001. I have never lent my sim-card to anyone. Cousins, brother, sister, uncle, aunty, peon, cabbie, boss, maid, dhobi, istri dude or terrorist… no one. Anyway – let’s give this idiot the benefit of doubt.

He booked a one way ticket to India. This aroused suspicions with Aussie cops. His stupid wife tells the media that he did that because he wanted to travel back with her and his I-wannabe-a-madrasa educated-marry a wannabe suicide bomber-progeny. Every dumb traveler knows that a return ticket is cheaper than a one way ticket. He could have booked a return ticket – and later booked a flight for his wife on the same date from India. His excuse is stupid. I still think he is innocent though…Of crime. But for stupidity and claiming ignorance (lying) of his cousin’s activities – he is guilty as hell.

And then enters the tamasha that is News in India. From a terror suspect who brought India to the headlines with his stupidity – he became a national hero. Every news channel in India was covering his arrival like it was Mahatma Gandhi’s return from the dead. Atleast whoever is the beneficiary of Rajdeep Sardesai’s carnal offerings must have had a great time – because watching all the coverage of Haneef, his wife and that ugly-repulsive IBN reporter camped outside the Haneef’s apology-of-a-house, asking his wife the dumbest of questions (are you glad that he is returning? Will you go to the airport to greet him? Will his mother go to the airport? I smell nice aroma… is there something special being prepared for that loser-sorry-ass-husband of yours?). Rajdeep’s hard-on was exploding by then – I’m cock sure.

The CM of Karnataka offered this bum a job at a government hospital. Haneef politely refused. What do you think he wanted to do? Join St. John’s? Al-Ameen?

The deed that forced me to write this masterpiece – Haneef wants Australia to apologize to India – and he wants his visa reinstated so that he can travel back to Australia and work there.

He is not just stupid. He is shameless. He also has no self-respect.

What would you do if you were Dr. Mohd Haneef?

Would you visit his clinic if he was your new friendly-neighbourhood medic-man?

Finger Wagger meets Finger Picker

This morning, while in the bus to work, I caught a glimpse of Primetime Morning - the breakfast show om Channel NewsAsia. Tommy Emmanuel CGP was expected to be in our News Studios for an interview later in the breakfast show.

Tommy Emmanuel is probably Australia's greatest musical export. He is 52 years old and has been playing guitar since he was 6. His primary influences were country and rock - but life changed the day he heard Chet Atkins play.

The finger picking style pioneered by Chet Atkins allowed the player to use all fingers of the hand (and treat the guitar like a piano). As the years went by Tommy, mastered the art till one day, he even cut a record with Chet Atkins himself - The Day the Finger Pickers took over the World. This was one of many albums I bought when I was in Sony BMG. Like Tommy Emmanuel - I too was inspired by Chet Atkins' style of playing. (unfortunately - thats were the similarities ended). I took up guitar lessons - but it stopped when the MBA began.

I went over to the studio and saw him sitting there in the waiting lounge. I walked up to him, introduced myself and we had a 15-minute discussion. I told him how I loved the 'Finger Pickers' album, when he asked me what my favorite song from the album was. I told him it was 'Saltwater'. This, by the way, is a track written and composed by Julian Lennon. He quickly pulled his guitar out of the case and started playing 'Salt Water'. For me.

The way his fingers moved - was magical. It was amazing - just an hour earlier, I was negotiating rain, traffic and ants to get to office - and here I was listening to probably the best guitar player in the world (atleast Eric Clapton thinks so!!)

He's performing at the Esplanade Concert Hall at 7.30pm on 21st July. You know where I'll be!!

From the First Lady of Love...

New album from Patti Scialfa.

The next line borders Blasphemy. But here goes...

You got to admit, The Boss has taste. Serious Taste. Vicious Taste. Sorted Taste.

Potter is for Kids... period

My opinion - so lets not start a war.

After watching the Order of the Phoenix last night - I have concluded that Potter is for kids. All that cock-talk about grown-ups who have kids trapped in them somewhere - and we should not lose the child in us... etc. Bullshit.

The book is badly written - and the movie is ill concieved. Harry can't sleep at all because of his premonitions and bad dreams and Voldemort supposedly getting into his mind. Magic potion in Magic land for Magical sleep??

I can think of a 1000 things I would do if I could control that stupid kid's mind - like jumping off the highest point at Hogwarts - or simply, ava cadavra him.

This movie is for kids and die-hard fans - who else can sit through this (happily) knowing well that there is another sequel to come before the final book is made into a movie.

And the movie has had the largest opening for a Wednesday in history. What next? Monday opening record? Then Tuesday?... then Thursday 3pm opening record. Thursday Single theatre opening record? Friday multi screen single multiplex record?
Sunday opening record with maximum Coke sold?

Grow Up !!

Pitter Patter Potter

I have been watching so many movies - I've lost track of what I watched... Big Fish, The Good German, Thank you for Smoking... and Paris, Je Taime. The last one (montage, collage whatever of 20 stories woven in and around Paris) is not my kind of movie. I heard so many good things from people about it - but it was a huge disappointment. I like to think while watching a movie - but I hate to feel stupid. This movie made me think - geez, am I missing something here? Is it really me? Towards the end, it was 'No way, I love The Band, I love Bruce Springsteen, I love George Harrison. I'm cool. This movie sucks.'

Thankfully, I stayed till the end - the soundtrack during the closing credits is probabaly the best I heard - after that in 25th Hour.

I'm going tonight for Potter with the Renu (who is looking forward to her Subway more than the movie I think) and Sukesss.

Now, how am I gonna talk about a movie I have not watched yet? Simple.

'Phoenix' is the last book of the series I read (that too because I had nothing better to do in Coonoor while taking care of my mother who was ill). I didn't even bother to read Potter 6 (Half Blood Prince) because Book 5 put me off the series - for good. I love movies - and thats partly why I'm going for the movie tonight. Back to Book 5 - probably the worst book of the whole series - at 874 pages - it was long and winding. Worse, it felt like 1500 pages of trash - and tantrums.

I read somewhere that the film-makers have done a fantastic job of fitting the whole script in 132 minutes. And this is why I wanna watch the movie.

Also, I like the Subway before too!!

Let the (mind) games begin...

We are 32 days away from the opening game of the 07-08 English Football Season - and our two good friends have started the war already.

As always, I'll have to stick to the Special One because he really (really really) has a point now.

(Ferguson has always grumbled about Chelsea being successful only because they spend millions during teh transfer period. )

First, Ferguson decides to mock other clubs for not spending enough (Man Utd have spent about 50 million pounds so far - and this could increase big time if Tevez's move is sanctioned by the F.A).

Mourinho, on the other hand has bought only one player - Florent Malouda from Lyon for 13 million pounds (the rest being free transfers). Mourinho has actually put the pressure on Man Utd by stating that "Manchester United's spending is something that we don't control, we don't want to control - we don't comment, we don't want to comment. But when we spent some millions, everybody pointed at us as the team with more responsibility to win." He added: "This was because we were the spenders in the market. That's not the case this season. The only player we've bought was Florent Malouda. We are very happy with that."

So are the pundits and soddy media gonna go for Man Utd's neck the way they did to ChelseaFC for the past 3 seasons?

Lets see how these guys play ball this season? From the looks of it - the only practice their star striker Christiano Ronlado is getting is smooching the lights out of Indian 'dusky' beauty and semi-slut Bips. I heard John can be found tearing up his Man Utd stickers from his motor bike - and changing its paint job from red to blue!!

July state of mind...

The new 7 Wonders of the World were announced on 070707.

It did not include The Pyramids of Egypt. Enough said.

• The Great Wall of China
• Petra in Jordan
• Brazil's statue of Christ the Redeemer
• Peru's Machu Picchu
• Mexico's Chichen Itza pyramid
• The Colosseum in Rome
• India's Taj Mahal

The presence of Brazil's statue of Christ is a reflection of how unreliable the mode of voting was. Millions of people with access to computers and internet is the only reason why it features in the list.

Roger Federer won his 5th straight Wimbledon. And many consider him the greatest player ever - which he will surely become if he actually wins more grand slams in his career. But I beg to differ. For me, my choice for the best tennis player has to be either Pete Sampras, John McEnroe or Andre Agassi. You've gotta go beyond just statistics (win-lose etc ) here. These three players faced (in their careers) what Federer rarely faced - a decent fight and stubborn competition. McEnroe had Jimmy Connors and Bjorn Borg to contend with - followed by a powerful young Boris Becker. Sampras and Agassi had each other - and a score of young short-lived stars who capitalized on the surge of the power game (Power serve/ volley game).

The only one who seems to be giving Federer any competition is Nadal - who I thought held pretty well last night. Hopefully he'll win that title soon.

Sticking to Wimbledon - this year the Women's Chamapion (Venus Williams) won equal prize money as Federer. I think its stupid to pay men and women alike if women play only 2 sets - or maximum 3. Venus for instance was a habit of stir-frying her opponents in 2 sets. Whereas the guys usually battle it out to 4 or 5 sets. Do the women deserve this? Sure, they look like men - and they can play like men too - but last only 3 sets.

Met the super fast Akshay Pratap Singh over the weekend. Consumed his Ceylon Arrack. And enjoyed myself to some fuseball.

Watched a lot of movies - including Transformers (pleasantly surprised!!), Die Hard 4.0 (whatever), Little Children (nice)... and Death Proof (Advanced).

Bought teh 2 CD/1DVD Traveling Wilburys Collection. George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Tom Petty and Jeff Lynne. Volume 1 is probably one of the best albums of the late 80's.

The LIVE Earth concerts happened on 070707. I enjoyed all the short films in between concerts and the countless 30 sec promos with various celebrities. God, what have we done to our earth? Billions of years of evolution... and its gonna get screwed without repair in the next 100 years. Its scary. I'm suddenly feeling proud that I have not owned a car till date, and that I am really doing my bit to decrease the CO2 and other hazardous contribution to the environment.

Bob Geldof had doubts about the concert's credibility - he said that people already knew about Global warming etc etc. Well,... people also knew about Ethiopian kids in 1985, and unfair trade practices with African countries in 2005. He suddenly came across as a pseud to me. Al Gore is really inspiring.

Aug 22nd is the date I give up the Singapore PR for my Marathi Maanoos citizenship. Honestly can't wait.

This weekend has Dex and Arjun in Singapore. Gonna be fun.